


We all have our secrets

by siren_of_the_ocean



Series: Tim Drake AU's [11]
Category: Batman - All Media Types, Constantine (TV), Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: Gen, Immortal Tim Drake, John Constantine Being an Asshole, John Constantine Needs A Hug, Magical Tim Drake, Occultist Tim Drake, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake is Robin, Tim Drake-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:28:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26359471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siren_of_the_ocean/pseuds/siren_of_the_ocean
Summary: It isn't unusual for Constantine to show up at the batcave, he enjoys annoying Bats. It is however, unusual for him to kidnap Tim while there.Follow the Batfamily as they discover the history that Tim never told them. The story filled with magic, demons, magicians and John Constantine in the middle of it.
Relationships: Cassandra Cain & Tim Drake, Chas Chandler & John Constantine, Chas Chandler & Tim Drake, John Constantine & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Anne Marie Flynn, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson & Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Gary Lester, Tim Drake & Jason Todd
Series: Tim Drake AU's [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1853161
Comments: 2
Kudos: 323





	1. Kidnapping a bird and trying not to get killed

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline? What timeline?

"Tim activated his away protocol" the voice of Oracle alerts, voice echoing through the cave as the occupants still. Tim never activated his away protocol. The last time he did, he was kidnapped by Ra's, who tried to induct him into the league. 

Dick is the first to speak, asking "I would ask if you're sure but I know you're sure. Do we know why?". Babs hums slightly, the sound of a keyboard clacking audible over the comms "I last placed him in the cave. 2 visitors came in, and Tim presumably left with them. Willingly, I assume since there's no property damage. And also, the protocol was set up immediately as he left the cave". 

"2 visitors?" Bruce asks worriedly, his hands on the desk as he leans toward the screen. As if that will allow him to see what Babs is seeing. "Yeah. One of them is league and the other is affiliate. Give me a moment, I think I might be able to tap into the Batcave's cameras and see what happened". 

The cave is silent as they wait, even Damian restricting himself from outright sneering and insulting Tim for going missing. A second later, the computer screen fills with the HD video of the batcave. 

Centre screen is Tim, in front of the computer, rapidly typing away at something. He looks about the same as usual, stripped down to his Red Robin under-layer with heavy purple bags under his eyes as he drinks coffee he might have made with Red Bull. 

He glances up at the screen periodically as he types with one hand, the glaring expression enough to have most of the family wince. After all, an annoyed Tim is probably the most dangerous thing in this house. The pranks alone....

Behind him, the elevator doors open, with 2 figures stepping out of the deep shadows to reveal Constantine and...another person. Oracle helpfully displays comments on the side, showing that the other man is named Chaz, a close friend of Constantine's. 

Tim is so enraptured and enraged by what is on screen that he doesn't notice the two approaching behind him. Or at least it looks that way, if you don't see him glance at the corner of the computer a few times and reach for his weapon subtly. The second they get close enough, Tim spins, bo staff elongating as he turns to pin Constantine to the wall by his throat. He must have seen them in the reflection of the computer. He has to have seen them to be able to pin him so precisely. 

Chaz immediately backs up a step, hands held out and palms forward in a placating gesture, indicating that he isn't a threat. It doesn't help much since Constangine manages a "Hey Timmy", earning himself an angry twitch of Tim's eyebrow. "Don't you, hey Timmy me. You utter bastard. What. Are. You. Doing. Here?" Tim growls out, staff still pressing lightly into Constantine's throat. 

The light pressure causes Constantine to cough, only leading to Tim putting more pressure on his windpipe, as his throat expands to take in more oxygen. Chaz is the one to de-escalate the situation, slowly lowering his hands and exaggerating his movements "Tim. We. Um. I. I am actually here for a favor" he says. 

Constantine lets a smile slide onto his lips as Tim removes the staff from his throat, turning to Chaz with a marginally less annoyed expression than he had with the computer. The rage present for Constantine had vanished completely when he turned to Chaz. 

"And what would the great John Constantine need from me? Especially since this breaks our agreement" Tim asks sarcastically, as he shrinks down his staff, placing it in front of the computer. He then turns back to Chaz with a PR smile on his face. 

Taking a chance, Jason glances down at the same spot on the computer that Tim would have left it on, seeing the still shrunken staff in place. Tim didn't take it with him then, it seems. 

"Stop it. We. I don't have time for this. I know we agreed to stay out of your lives, avoiding suspicion and everything. But please" Chaz murmurs, as Constantine speaks over him "I'm calling in that favor you owe me", only resulting in a more annoyed expression. If that is at all possible. Chaz seems to feel his chances dwindling as he looks Tim straight in the eyes, practically begging

"Please. Tim please. If you won't do it for John then do it for me. It's my daughter"

Chaz's words cause Tim to stop and look at him for a bit, the annoyance draining from him. Biting his lip, Tim looks down and draws a deep breath "Yeah fine. Just to be clear, you are cashing in that favor, the last one by the way. What do you need?" he asks eventually. 

Chaz basically lights up, his lips lifting into a smile for the first time since they came into the cave, as he draws Tim into a hug. Tim doesn't even seem uncomfortable the way he usually is, simply sighing as he relaxes into the hug, reaching high to be able to pat Chaz on the back. Tim speaks then, annoyance from before gone and a fond tone replacing it "Good to see you again, Chaz. John. Even if I do need to burn this identity afterwards". 

He says the names with familiarity that nobody expects, Oracle's comments devolving into questions on how Tim knows them. Nobody knows so nobody answers, even as the comments disappear from the screen. Oracle also speculates on why Tim would need to burn this identity, the possibility popping up that Tim might have magic. 

Even Constantine sighs before giving Tim a sideways hug, halfhearted though Tim doesn't seem to mind. He turns to Chaz, questions falling into place as he goes into detective mode "What's up? Why call me now? And why call me?". Chaz and Constantine share a look over Tim's shoulder before Chaz answers. 

"Felix Faust stole my daughter's soul. I need some help getting it back" he states, like that isn't a logical problem on it's own. Though with John Constantine you never know. Obviously. Tim doesn't look that shocked at the soul stealing part, rather looking indignant. 

"You're calling me out of retirement for...Felix Faust" he says with the dryest tone possible, looking close to annoyed again. Constantine shakes his head, correcting "Felix Faust, who has figured out how to seperate souls from bodies and is currently running on dozens of them". 

Tim gives him an unimpressed look before firmly stating "Not possible. People much more powerful than Faust have tried to seperate soul from body. It's always been a failure", to which Constantine rebukes "Yes. Fine. I thought so as well. But the Brujeria have arisen. Anything is possible with the rising darkness". 

At the name, Tim starts laughing hysterically, clearly expecting the others to join. When they don't, Tim stops laughing, looking at Constantine seriously as he says "The Brujeria have been dead for millenia". Constantine gives him a faint smile as he points, saying "Yeah I thought so too. But Manny confirmed and so did many of the other magicians I spoke with. We even managed to get a descendant to talk about it". 

At that, Tim bites down on his lower lip, thinking. 

Once again the comments section of the screen from Oracle fill with questions about the Brujeria. Who they are. How Tim knows about them. What they do. What the rising darkness means. And whether they should be concerned about Tim's obvious knowledge of the occult. 

"Please Tim. I will outright beg if I have to. Please. Just help me save my daughter" Chaz asks, voice sincere but desperate as he holds eye contact. At last, Tim gives a determined nod as he stands away from the desk. 

He gives Chaz a smile, though wan and asks a simple question "Just like old times, hey?" to which Chaz laughs and Constantine gives a small grimace. 

They then turn to leave the cave, silent in their retreat before Tim rushes back to instigate his away protocol from the computer. Giving the camera one last look as he meaningfully reaches for his comm set. 

As the screen fades to black, the family is left with only their reflections in the black surface of the computer. None of them knowing what happened. Just knowing that they'll be tuning into the comms soon.


	2. Felix Faust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix Faust should have known better than to go after John Constantine.

"Honestly? Are you still being serious? Faust as a threat? Never in my life have I imagined" Tim's voice floods through the speakers. 

Oracle had tapped into the comm set a bit ago, allowing them to hear Tim as he speaks. They can even hear his companions in the background as well as anyone he directly addresses. 

"Yeah well. Neither did I. I wouldn't call on you if I didn't have to though" Constantine says, actually sounding regretful. They can hear Tim sigh, a huff of breath rushing from his nose before he answers "You know, if you called, I would help" he eventually says, almost sounding reluctant of the words. 

A shuffling sound is heard, though this time from the cave, as Cassandra settles into her chair more comfortably. Dick had taken the opportunity to call a family gathering, sans Tim. Just to make sure that he lives and actually comes back with his soul intact. Babs couldn't trace the signal to a location, eventually settling into her chair in defeat as she listens to the three talk, wherever they are. 

A laugh sounds over the speaker, sounding almost confused "You don't have to lie, Tim. Everyone resents me for Newcastle. I wouldn't be surprised if your hatred goes back to Manchester, even" Constantine states certainly. There's a ruffling as Tim shakes his head, causing slight interference with the microphone he presumably has pinned to his clothes. 

"I don't blame you, John. Newcastle, yes. You were an arrogant bastard sometimes but you and Judith did the best that you could. A demon was running loose. Since none of us could stop it and Ben was already traumatized as it is, you did what you thought best. You just bit off a bit more than you could chew. But. Can you just imagine what would have happened if Norfulthing was left to run loose in Newcastle?" Tim asks, voice solemn, as of recounting an event he saw. But Bruce knows of Newcastle, knows that it happened when Tim was just a small child, teenager at best. 

"Yeah sure. I damned a girl to hell, Tim. I did that. Just because I didn't contain a demon I chose to summon in a stupid stunt" Constantine says derisively. Jason can imagine Tim's expression, the same one he gives Jason when he's being self deprecating and blaming himself for the pit rage. "You were young. Basically still a kid. We walked into a situation we weren't prepared for and we got out with some of the worst of it. But we made it out. Because of your 'stupid stunt'" Tim points out, sounding reasonable. 

Chaz stops the two, presumably stopping an argument before it starts "We met Anne Marie a bit ago. She became a nun for an Abbey in Mexico. Had some problems with children stealing we had to take care of. I think she would love to see you" he says, talking over either of their attempts to start the previous argument. 

"We also saw Ritchie, he's an university professor now, can you believe? I think he teaches astrophysics or computer science or something but he also seems to be teaching theology. I think it fits him. 

Gary...." Chaz hesitates for the first time in speaking, Constantine hissing lowly as Tim stops walking. Chaz clears his throat before continuing to speak "Gary accidentally freed a hunger demon and he...didn't make it after that". 

Flinching, Dick looks around at the rest of the family, unfortunately unsurprised since Constantine's friends have a tendency to end up dead. They don't look suprised either, Cass staring blankly at the roof as Jason lowers his head in a short acknowledgement of the poor soul. 

They can hear Tim clear his throat, drawing their attention back to the comm. "I'm glad that Anne recovered. I never thought she would. Gary, I wish he could have had better but at least he's at peace now. I'll probably avoid Ritchie still but I am glad that he seems to be doing something he enjoys". 

Tim speaks of these people as friends, Babs notes, conveying the message to Cass through sign language, as Cass still has trouble with spoken language nuances. He shouldn't be so affected by the death of someone he never knew, she thinks, before stilling. She quickly starts to draw up records of the night at Newcastle. Any news reports, security footage, eyewitness reports. Anything at all. 

"Did you ever tell them?" Chaz's voice asks after a few minutes of tense silence. Silence remains after the statement, before Tim speaks "No. I didn't. Didn't think I needed to, you know? But. I should probably tell them". Cass can feel a frown build in her brow as Babs translates the sentences into ASL for her, conveying Tim's hesitance as well as she can. 

"Nothing? You told them nothing? How did you explain that you don't age?" Constantine asks, the question startling the Bats into silence. Cass has to tap Babs a few times for her to translate, breaking her out of her shock. "They didn't notice. Don't think anyone has. And if they did, I would have told them. Maybe" Tim answers, not sounding certain. 

Chaz is the one to laugh this time, stating "You can lie really well Tim. You have the best poker face. But even you couldn't have kept this quiet". Tim then starts to recount the story, likely aware that the Bats are listening to their discussion. 

His voice starts hesitantly, explaining his birth to a family of no consequence. He then goes on to explain himself starting to dabble in witchcraft and the like. Not quite the dark arts but close enough to warrant getting close to Constantine. 

He then shakily explains a rash of murders in Manchester, which he investigates with John, eventually finding a witch who is betting with years of life, instead of money. As the best poker player, Tim takes his chance and plays the game. He wins by a landslide, getting 2000 years off the witch. He only later realised that he isn't aging the way he should. Stuck at 17 for the rest of his life. Or at least for 2000 years. 

Then he goes on to explain that he was with the Newcastle crew; Anne Marie, John, Ritchie, Gary and Chaz as they investigated the pub. He was there when Constantine released the demon and he was there when Astra was dragged down to hell as well. 

During the explanation, the entire cave is silent. Not quite computing but they know that they believe Tim. Especially when Babs pulls up pictures of the old Newcastle crew, Tim standing at Anne Marie's side looking just as he does now. 

"How are you gonna tell them, then?" Constantine asks, his voice thick with emotion before he clears his throat. Dick can imagine the secretive smile on Tim's lips as he says "I have a feeling they already know". 

Chaz and Constantine both protest, saying that that wasn't an answer and that Tim should actually tell them, unaware that the Bats could currently hear them. They seem to get out of a car, if the sounds of slamming doors are to be believed, as Tim readjusts the mic on his clothes. 

Then they start walking forward, now in silence, only the crunching of gravel to accompany them. They can hear Tim fall behind, John and Chaz entering a building with a heavy metal door as Tim stills. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys. It didn't seem important at the time and I do hate talking about it. I'll explain and answer any questions once I get back" Tim whispers into the mic, waiting for something. The slam of a fist against a surface is apparently his cue, as he starts walking forward. 

They can hear him open a heavy door and then his steps change from gravel to cement. A warehouse of some sort. There are 3 voices in the background. Chaz, Constantine and one unnamed person, presumably an enemy. 

"Actually, I'm just here to play a game" Tim says loudly, as the man starts to question Tim's presence. The man falls silent, waiting before he asks "And why would I want to play a game?". Tim's voice cold as ice as he answers "Because I have millenia to bet and though you've figured out how to seperate soul from body, you don't have forever. You're going on older age as it is". 

The man, presumably Faust, falls silent again before they hear the sounds of poker chips against a table. A game of poker being set up. Remembering Tim's explanation of how he received his powers, Cass tenses, worried for her brother. 

The next few minutes are silent as cards are dealt, the game mostly silent as they play excluding the chips falling onto the table and the occasional shuffle of fabric. They can't even see the game or Tim's expression. They have no idea who is winning. 

Tim might die, they realise, Bruce's hands going white as his fists clench. They can't lose him, Jason thinks as he mentally refocuses, Damian at his side stock still. Even Babs had gone completely white, Cass looking worried at her side. 

At last, Faust says "I'll call your bluff, pretty boy. I raise" as the clatter of more chips ring against the table. They can hear Tim's smile as he says "No bluff. Four of a kind", Faust cursing as he loses. 

Constantine then swoops in as he asks for Geraldine's soul in exchange for the years he lost, to which Tim agrees. But Faust refuses the deal, "I have hundreds of years now. Why would I trade the soul for a meager 100?" as the poker chips clang again. 

Tim obviously refutes, saying that the years aren't his to bargain, but Faust calls him on a bluff again, cashing in the chips. 

Jason can hear it when Tim realizes what that means. Faust bet years he has no right over. He bet more years than he has. Faust is going to die. 

"Faust is gonna die. It's gonna be his own fault too" Jason comments, drawing incredulous looks from Damian, Bruce and Dick. He explains his reasoning then, as they hear Tim's breath catch in his throat, Constantine yelling out for Faust. But it's over before anyone can stop it. 

The sound of a body hitting the floor echoes through the cave, as Tim's heavy breathing rings in their ears. Tim quickly shuts off the comm, leaving the cave in silence. 

"Tim just killed someone" Dick realises, before Jason stops him, stating "Faust killed himself. He bet more than he had and was willing to bet years from stolen children. Tim tried to warn him too. This isn't his fault and even if it was, it shouldn't matter". That stops the discussions for a while, as Babs explains what happened to Cass. 

While Cass understands words, she still has trouble understanding the emotion, tone and implications of words spoken from where she can't see. So Babs usually explains the intricacies to her. 

"Brother alright?" is Cass' first question, remembering the first time she had killed someone and the deep feeling of hopelessness and anxiety that consumed her after. Babs gives her the best approximation of a smile she can give her at the moment, keeping an eye on Jason, as he too thinks over his first kill. 

Both of them worry for Tim, even Damian pointing out that the kill was accidental and therefore "Drake had no time to prepare for the aftereffects of a first kill". 

After that statement, the comm reconnects, Tim's breathing slightly unsteady and sniffly as he explains that he's coming back to the cave. Chaz and John would not be there as they have their own problems to deal with. 

The comm disconnects again, this time pinging a location, in Brooklyn, which allows Babs to send the Batplane on autopilot. She thinks he would want the time to think and be alone before they bombard him with questions.


	3. Aftermath of death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tim never wanted to kill. It was never his plan.

Tim's arrival back at the cave is muted. The welcome overshadowed by the heaviness in Tim's eyes. The way his eyes keep glancing off of Bruce or Dick. The way his hands shake every time he goes to speak. 

Jason makes an executive decision and leads Tim to his room, giving Bruce a middle finger when he moves to intervene. A familiar place would help calm Tim's nerves and Tim is in no state for questions. "I threw up. You know" Jason informs him when they reach the door, drawing a confused look from Tim. "I threw up. The first time I killed someone, I threw up right after" Jason explains, looking down at his hands. 

He doesn't regret killing some of the people he did. They deserved it. But to have that burden, let alone the burden of an accidental kill placed on Tim's shoulders didn't sit well with him. Made a strange squirmy sensation stir in the pit of his stomach. 

"I know that you're not my little brother. Not really since you're basically the same age as I am. But you're still my brother, immortal or not. And I will sit here as you cry or scream or throw up. Because that's what brothers do" Jason concludes, sitting on the foot of the bed and keeping an eye on Tim at the head of the bed, still worried. 

Tim looks tired, exhausted as he speaks, knowing that the rest of the family is watching them through the cameras "I didn't mean to kill him. It was supposed to be a straightforward deal. His years for Geraldine's soul. Maybe the others if I could bargain for them. I didn't expect him to be so. Stupid". His eyes drop as tears start to well up in his eyes, falling slowly as his shoulders start to shake. 

Taking that as his cue, Jason reaches out and tugs Tim into a hug, shushing him and rubbing his back as Tim starts to sob. The adrenaline starting to wear off as the realization that he just killed Felix Faust sets in. 

"I don't regret it, Jay" Tim says as his sobs start to die down. His voice quiet and muffled in Jason's shoulder, flat. "He was killing people. Killing kids. Killing Chaz's daughter. But. I wish there had been another way". 

Jason continues to rub his back, trying to soothe Tim as the anxiety kicks in. Tim's breathing quickening as he thinks about his actions. His lungs refuse to expand, his head going fuzzy and the light becoming grainy. The only focal point being Jason's hand on his back, drawing him out of the panic attack. 

"You don't have to be sorry, Tim" Jason says, stealthily sending one of Oracle's spy drones a thumbs up. It tilts to the left in a show of acknowledgement before leaving the room. 

The family would leave Tim to compute and calm before they decide to ask any questions. Babs and Cass would keep Bruce from storming up to interrogate Tim. Dick would probably escape to come give Tim a hug but that isn't what Tim needs right now. 

Right now, Tim needs Jason. Needs Cass. Hell, maybe even Damian. People that understand. And Jason knows that so he keeps close to Tim, keeping contact with him. An arm over his shoulders or an elbow resting on Tim's thigh. Anything to let Tim know that he's still there and not running. 

After a while, Tim's eyes unfocus, his head tilting down as he starts to fall asleep while sitting up. Jason smiles, taking the opportunity to tuck him in. 

They'd deal with it all tomorrow. 

The next day, Tim will wake up in his bed and lay there as the realization settles in. Not only did Faust die because of Tim but Tim now has all the years Faust had left over. Guessing, Tim estimates that Faust had around 50 years left, which are now his. 

The realization makes him want to tear into his own skin. Rip out all the extra years he has. Even after taking deep breaths and trying to settle, the urge doesn't go away. So he takes a breath, stands and gets ready for the day. 

He prepares himself for accusations at breakfast, prepares to be thrown into an interrogation cell. So when he enters to silence, he frowns. 

Deciding not to push his luck, he sits down to tuck into the pancakes piled into his plate. He pecks at them, not able to swallow much through the clog in his throat. The coffee goes down much easier, giving him his caffeine hit for the day at least. 

Jason is the one to interrupt his building anxiety, clearing his throat to draw Tim's attention from tearing his pancakes to pieces. Jason's eyes are kind, understanding even as Tim's features flood with apprehension. 

"Alright Birdy. We aren't mad" Jason is interrupted then by a throat clearing sound "So maybe we are a but mad that you kept this from us but we aren't mad about Faust, alright?". At Tim's hesitant nod, Dick continues "We just want the whole story. We heard it over the comms but it isn't quite the same as you telling us". 

As Tim thinks it over, Jason shares a look with Bruce, pointedly looking at the shakes in Tim's hand. It sends a clear message "Don't stress him out further". And Bruce complies, looking at his second youngest son with sadness in his eyes. Grief at the child that Tim once was, after all, his other children were changed by their first kills. 

Cassandra still looks close to tears when she thinks about the man she killed. Damian doesn't talk about his first. And they heard Jason's story last night. 

Another day they will discuss the death of Felix Faust. Tim will take tips from Jason, Cass and Damian on how to deal with the aftereffects. He will show everyone the pictures of his younger self with Constantine before Newcastle. 

But right now, he sits in the kitchen, staring at his brother as he explains his story.


End file.
